Atmospheric Noise: History, Rewritten

So this week, for my Atmospheric Noise feature, I decided to take what (little) I know about history and make it my own.  So sit back, and enjoy...

History, Rewritten


"The History of the Great Battle of the Axis and Empire versus the Allies and the Rebels"

Around the time of WWII, the Empire and the Rebels were facing off somewhere in a galaxy far, far away.

(Lucky for us, there was a satellite in space that captured their vast array of soldiers)

Right about this time, the Empire intercepted a message from a planet that was far, far, away.  This message wasn't intended for them, but they decided it was far better prey and picked up and took off away from their far, far, away galaxy and left the rebels behind.  Or so they thought...

Meanwhile, on this other planet, that was far, far, away, where a message had just been lost in space, another war was preparing to take place.  The Allies have just landed in Germany and the Axis is ready to defend their land.

(again, we're so lucky there was a nearby satellite taking pictures)

Then, a strange thing happened.  The message that had been sent that was intercepted in the galaxy far, far, away was answered, not by who was expected to answer it, but by the Empire from a galaxy far, far, away.  Not only that, but the Rebels followed the Empire, and nearing their destination, quickly figured out there was a war and decided to side on the opposite side of the Empire.

The Hutts caught a ride with the Empire...

They immediately assimilated themselves.

The Allies celebrated small victories...

The small victories were short lived, as can be seen by the Massacre on Utah Beach.

                                The Axis and the Empire were quickly gaining a strong lead.

Both sides cheered when this guy died...

The battle was quickly overtaken by the Empire and the Axis.

As soon as they had nearly defeated their enemies, the Empire shot the Axis in the back.

They faced off in every part of Germany.

When the Death Star moved in, the Axis had no chance.

Axis and Allies and Rebels alike suffered the same fate.


At the end of it all, the only "men" left standing were storm troopers and AT-ST's.  Darth Vader was left with a whole planet to himself and never returned to that galaxy far, far, away.  Lucky for us, Han Solo, Luke and Princess Leia weren't anywhere near the battle and they stayed back on Kashyyk.  Lucky for them, they no longer have an Imperial army on their back.